Resuscitation

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”― Henry David Thoreau

Netflix ate my life today. That is my fault because I let it. I had the best of intentions. I was going to get up, go to a coffee shop with a friend, spend my day writing, and then go to CG. But…my bed was so comfortable. And Netflix. And I just was not feeling it. It being absolutely anything that might involve me doing more than the messy bun I’m still sporting or doing anything that might make me sweat. Sorry, Ryan Gosling…wouldn’t even rally for you today, sir. And so, Netflix ate my life.

But, my bud Thoreau up there speaks the truth. Who the hell gives a shit about my life if I don’t do anything worth writing about? I mean, really?

So, it’s time for me to voice some new commitments to myself. Let me clear: these are not resolutions. These are just goals for a better me. Some of them build on life improvements I have already been making (I’ll write more later about the past year and a half I spent with a focus on fitness). But, I do not want to view them as resolutions since those have a long standing global reputation for being quickly broken and quickly shrugged off. So, maybe that’s just mental semantics on my part, but whatever…

My plans range from fulfilling little desires I’ve had (which sounds way more risque than it is) to pushing myself outside my comfort zone.

Without further ado:

Beauty

Liz Taylor once said, “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” Her words speak to a few of my new beautifying projects. (Although the drink part also brings to mind my intention to develop a taste for whiskey…)

First up? Moisturize! Seriously. I want to keep my skin looking fresh. I use facial moisturizer, and it really does pay off. I can tell the difference between when I’m using it and when I’ve been too broke to buy more. However, the rest of my bod deserves the same treatment. Plus, in the summer, moisturizing ensures you keep a golden glow longer. I don’t spend a lot of time in the sun (it’s hot, sweaty, and damages the skin), so when I do, I want its positive effects to last. And when it’s not summer, I just don’t want to look dried out. So, goal? This week, I’m buying that spray lotion. I think St. Ive’s makes it?

Anyway. Small goal, but that’s happening.

Also, I am going to a makeup counter (and soon!) to get a good quality red lipstick. I’ve bought red lipstick before from the drug store, but I never wear it much. It all ends up to pink or too orangey. I have not found the right shade. That is a look I definitely want to try out. Plus…I need to know…do you really need the lip liner too? Get ready Lancome. We have a date.

Fitness

I have a guilty conscience. I feel guilty every time I don’t go to the gym or I skip CG. I joined CG a month or so ago because my former trainer got me to sign up. I have been twice. In my defense, for some of that first month I was out of town due to a death in the family. Then, I got busy at work. Etc. Etc. Etc.

The excuses start and I. FEEL. SO. GUILTY. Ugh. I worked so damn hard to get where I am at. I dropped 2-3 jean sizes. I have muscles I have NEVER had in my life. I did all of that by having a trainer. That was really good for me because my fitness self discipline is so not great. I was so out of shape when I started. I do not want to go back to that, but it is hard to motivate myself to go to the gym on my own. And, CG is another story. It is A LOT of cardio. When I was training, I did a lot of weight type strengthening exercises. I like that better.

BUT…I have a contract with CG for a few more months, so time to get my lazy arse in gear.

And, I need to up my game. I want to keep the butt I earned.

Game plan–

CG at least 2X per week. Hit the gym twice a week (leg day, arm day). Run at least once per week.

Dating

After Houdini (more on him later), I have not dated too much. I am on a couple of sites, but my heart has not been it. This fall, my family had two losses. I haven’t been in the mood to smile and small talk for an hour with someone who is a total stranger.

I put a lot of work into my job and life goals, but my love life could use a bit more of my attention. So, I vow…I will date at least one NEW dude per month/every other week.All that emailing and stuff takes up a lot of precious time. So, the time table may be adjusted accordingly. Now, this does not mean that I cannot date a guy(s) I may have already gone out with. Until one of these dates progresses to a monogamous relationship, it will be my mission to go out with another new guy.

Adventure

Once a month, I will try something I haven’t done before. I’m not sure yet what exactly this will look like, but it allows for spontaneity. (Yes, I’m aware of the irony in that statement.)

I got a taste of this last fall when I started kickboxing. I actually really like it. It’s challenging, but it makes me feel pretty kick ass. I’m excited/terrified of this challenge for myself. I think that makes it potentially really good for me. Will I jump out of a plane? Truthfully, I’ve thought about it. And felt like hurling. Or peeing. Or rather, I started thinking about having to pee while jumping…or being so scared my eyes would be shut the whole time…and puking on whoever they strap you to…but I don’t know. Skydiving may be too much of a leap…pun intended. Literally.

Mind & Soul

Looking back on last year, I can see how much I let work wear me down. That’s partly why I let myself succumb to the allure of Netflix. Nothing like a mental escape. However, I should have spent more of those mental vacations in a book. I LOVE literature, but I’ve been neglecting it. I quoted Bradbury in my first post, and this situation is a prime illustration of what he is talking about: “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” Stressors be damned! I need to imbibe on books more because words do revive me. Life feel shinier and brighter when I’m reading good books…and when I’m writing.

Write. Write. Write. I will write! I’ve already failed at my original plan to write once a week. But, I feel better when I do! Writing is a little like church for me…I think about it, I push myself to get to it, but after I do, I always feel refreshed and reenergized.

With that being said, I need to get myself to church more. I read the Bible pretty much every night, but I know I need to be more spiritually fed. I need to get it in gear.

Last fall, I began volunteering for two organizations. I have not done a lot since. Like I said, life got a bit tough there for a bit. But, if I can try to volunteer for one of those organizations once per month, I think it will honor the commitment I want to make to them in addition to providing spiritual fulfillment.

That is a whole lot of stuff. If I can do these things, I think I should be able to escape into my Netflix without any hangups. But, I don’t see that happening anytime soon. I’ve got to find Mr. This Month, an adventure of some kind, my abs, a good read, a cushiony pew, some time to breathe…

Oh, and a red lip worthy of Liz Taylor.